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Bert Ligon knew he had to do something when Lisa Simpson, Springfield's brainiest 8-year-old and star of the Fox animated series "The Simpsons," emphatically rejected her father's idea to send her to USC.

So Ligon, the quick-thinking director of the University of South Carolina's jazz studies program, offered Bart's saxophone-playing sister a scholarship. Ligon said it just might change her mind.

"I hope we can," Ligon said. "We also can call attention to other students who weren't aware we have a jazz program or who don't want to be a Gamecock."

The Feb. 17 episode of "The Simpsons," a long-running cartoon satire by Matt Groening, set the chain of events in motion.

That's when Lisa clutched the front gate of Springfield's elite private school as her father, Homer, tugged on her ankles. Despite her pleading, Homer told her the family couldn't afford it; he tried to reassure her by saying he would send her to school in South Carolina.

A distraught Lisa insisted she didn't want to be a Gamecock.

Ligon didn't want other youngsters imitating Lisa's stance. "I'm trying to soften that blow," he said.

He figured the best way to do that would be to wave scholarship money under Homer's nose. So he sent her a letter, dated Feb. 26, with the offer.

And he appealed to Lisa's ego:

"I have heard you play and know that you have a strong musical background from your studies with Mr. Largo and your jazz muse, the late 'Bleeding Gums' Murphy."

Say, Bert, in all your years on the national jazz scene performing with the Maynard Ferguson Orchestra, Mel Torme, Dianne Schuur, Randy Brecker and Dianne Reeves, did you ever get the opportunity to jam with "Bleeding Gums" Murphy?

"Our paths never crossed," he said.

That's too bad. But Ligon would love to have the young protege of Bleeding Gums study under him.

Ligon has invited Lisa, along with Homer, mom, Marge, brother, Bart, and baby sister Maggie, to tour the campus with him. He suggests April, during one of USC's big band or jazz combo concerts.

He was cagey about how much of a scholarship he could offer. And he'll tell those who might ask what he'll do if Lisa accepts - as the folks in USC's legal department already have -that he has no real worries.

After all, Lisa Simpson is a cartoon character.

As regular viewers of the show know, Lisa can't wait to go to college. Unlike her underachieving, trouble-making brother, she already reads at the 14th-grade level and has written a college application-quality essay that won her family a free trip to Washington, D.C.

Her favorite activities? Playing the sax and attending school.

Ligon, who plays the piano and guitar, figures Lisa would love the curriculum at USC, which includes jazz theory, improvisation, arranging and composition, and performing with big bands, combos and jazz string ensembles.

It looks like Lisa is going to have a hard time turning down Ligon's generous offer. We know Homer won't be able to refuse it.

Ligon has yet to get a response from Lisa or Homer. (The same goes for Talk, whose request for an exclusive interview has been ignored so far.)

But if it all works out, we can't wait to see that future episode of "The Simpsons," the one where Lisa will play the USC fight song in Williams-Brice Stadium, pausing ever so briefly toward the end to shout those magic words:

"Go Cocks!"

Call Talk at (803) 771-8643 or e-mail ntwhite@thestate.com.